Kevin’s Cryptids: Kappa-kappa-kappa-kappa-kappa-Chupacabraaaaaaaa
For reference, the title is set to the tune of Karma Chameleon.
Growing up in rural Northwest Ohio, it’s quite literally the perfect environment for a Cryptid. Vast expanses of corn fields, a seemingly infinite number of densely wooded areas, and a Great Lake. The best known one I can think of off the top of my head was Bessie, also called the South Bay Bessie. I remember going to Put-in-bay, a small vacation island in Lake Erie, on a school field trip. We took a shuttle boat to the island. While en-route, I faked being sick so I could go sit outside and enjoy the ride. My other choice was to sit in the cabin with everyone else and be bored to death by Mrs. Beal’s droning on about boat science. I remember looking at the water and seeing a long, dark shadow weaving its way through the water in the boat’s wake. It went away after a moment or two, but that has always stuck with me. I’d like to think I escaped a wet, cold, dark death by only the narrowest of margins.
I’d like to think Kevin had a hand on my shoulder, steadying me as I watched Bessie swim away.
This is Kevin’s Cryptids.
This show had me in absolute stitches. I couldn’t stop listening from the moment I started, it just drew me in. Now that’s not to say you’re in for a whimsical experience full of gumdrops and unicorns (though a unicorn may be forthcoming).
Intrepid ace reporter Taylor Hunt finds this out the hard way. Reporting for the nationally acclaimed Gator Gazette (almost couldn’t say that one with a straight face), Taylor has been sent out by an anonymous tip sent into the Gazette. He’s on his own kind of cryptid excursion. He’s hunting the most dangerous of game. He searches for a creature so vain, so vile, and so vicious (I’m slipping into V for Vendetta territory here, YIKES) that there can only be one of him, as the world would literally shatter under him. He is the creature known as Kevin Weathers, self-identified cryptozoologist.
Along with Kevin’s beat up tank of a van, HQ, the two of them set off on what can only be described as The Odyssey for a modern time.
Rabid murderous Canadians (I almost threw up typing that) of The Discovery Channel, a hidden monastic-like order of cryptid hunters run by the master of culture appropriation (no, I SWEAR I’m not an SJW, but it was the best I could think of), explosions, German crypto bands, crypto conventions, crypto classifieds, the inner workings of the Greyhound community, NPS, this show keeps coming at you and just won’t let up on the joy juice.
The ensemble of voice actors for this show are stellar, no doubt. Each and every one feels like the character is in the room with you, and the accompanying jokes and japes will leave you laughing like an idiot while on the highway commute, while other drivers stare at you like a Jackalope.
Speaking of the jokes, I can’t help but bring up a point here. I’ve listened to a lot of Audio Dramas. Never have I before heard more, bear with me, grounded humor. What I mean by that is this show doesn’t take place in a strange and creepy town in the desert, or some distant spaceship orbiting twin suns. This show is right here on Earth, and a world that is very close to ours. So the jokes are current. I hope that makes sense to you all, because it does me.
Anywho, this AD is well worth the listen. You will not be disappointed by any facet of it. Sound production is amazing, acting is over the top in the absolute best way possible, the story is just hilarious, and it is well worth your time. One of my new favorite shows!
Oh, and Kevin. You ever wanna challenge a True Warble Warrior, you bring your bish-ass over here. Damn Gorby.