Kakos Industries: Mission Statement - Evil
I am back, my dear readers. This review took me longer than normal, just because of the amount of episodes I had to flow through. At a total of 70 episodes at the time of this writing, it’s one of the bigger podcasts I’ve reviewed. What surprises me is that despite the amount of episodes, I don’t hear much about this show. I’m friends with a few fans, but other than that, I haven’t heard much. To be fair, these people could be corporate plants within a sleeper cell that have been activated to spread the word with subtle hints and vague whispers of a pseudo-sexual nature, but maybe I’m paranoid.
Let’s get this show going, shall we? Everyone grab their Odd Little Radios and crank the volume, I would like to welcome you to the painful pleasure that is Kakos Industries.
Coming off with a sort of Night Vale-ish presentation, we join the new CEO of Kakos Industries Corin Deeth III, played by Conrad Miszuk. I’m gonna go on record here. I LOVE Conrad Miszuk. He’s an absolutely amazing voice actor, and he makes the electromagnetic processor servos in my vast robotic heart hot enough to melt stone.
Anywho, we join Corin Deeth III as he reads the shareholder announcements for the company Kakos Industries, where they help you to Do Evil Better. These announcements come not from your phone, but from radios and transmitters that are thrown through your Incoming Projectile window (We all know those), a horde of gnashing zombies, evil thoughts in your head, the list goes on and ooooon. Any kind of evil you can imagine, and even some you wouldn’t for fear of losing any shred of sanity you had left, Kakos Industries probably has a hand in it. At least, they’ll take credit for it. Right from the first episode, you can’t help but let that little cackling voice in the back of your head a little freedom as he enjoys the depravities and sexual favors this AD provides you with. Just to list a few of the topics from the first several episodes, you have the development of Hell into a labor force, killing a man named Jerry by sheer force of evil, attempting to make ours the Darkest Universe, Giant Ass Robots to Kick on Your Face that are Kawaii as Fuck Yo fighting squid monsters (yes, you read that right), a brain submerged in a virtual reality, job placement by sexual conquest, budding office romances, a new hole (you read THAT one right as well), the list goes on. And these are from the first several episodes. This AD has everything.
We are mainly serenaded by Corin Deeth himself, however there are guest appearances by the CEOs of other companies, their daughters, evil hybrid AIs tied into the alarm system, on and on. Every voice actor on this show are absolutely amazing (and incredibly attractive in that way, you know, when you could listen to them for hours, and when they start talking about really “fun activities”, all you want to do is melt into their voices…..) ahem. Great stuff.
Kakos Industries is without question in my top five ADs. I’ve got it set to auto download in my Pocket Casts, and every single time I see the name in my alerts, I squee just a tad. I squee because I get to enjoy more beautiful depravity, painful pleasure, and sickening ecstasy. Who could want more? I will say that there are definitely topics of a sexual nature, so those who find this uncomfortable need not apply, but if you like a bit of cream in your coffee (wink, wink) you need to listen to Kakos Industries. Discover for yourself how many radios you can smash, how many spins of the Wheel of Misery it takes to finally put you down, and just how quickly you can climb the ladder of management with sexual favors by subscribing to Kakos Industries. You’ll thank evil you did.